The Tape
by BlackLightning6911
Summary: Jade doesn't have anyone to talk to so she decides to get her feelings about a certain someone on tape.


**I don't own victorious**

**It's the first story I have ever written.**

**I hope you like it.**

The camera turned on with a light beep.

A young teenage girl appeared on the screen. She pulled back and sat awkwardly at a deep red armchair. The room around her was cover with black and red colors. The girl herself had a pale skin complex and the most amazing eyes. They were a mix of sky blue and green that could captivate you. She had long dark brown almost black hair that fell down her shoulders on light curls with a few blue streaks here and there. She had her left eyebrow and right side of her nose pierced. She had a frown on her face and seemed to be really exhausted. She rubbed her eyes which had dark circles under them and looked at the camera tiredly. She looked like there was something she needed to let out.

"Uhmm….hi." she started talking "My name is Jade but you already know that…umm…" she frowned and looked down before her gaze met the camera again.

"Actually no one is supposed to see this video. I'm not gonna show it to anyone. I'm just going through a rough time and I need to get a few things of my chest." She stopped again hesitating. "I don't have anyone to talk to so I figured this would be a nice way to express myself." She leaned back thinking.

"Well I could talk to Cat I guess but she wouldn't understand most of it. That girl lives on her own little world…"she smiled softly "she is my best friend but she usually lets things slip and I don't want that happening on this case. I can't risk it…."she bit her lip and her eyes glazed over for a bit." Maybe I'll tell her someday…just not until I'm sure she can keep it a secret…"

"You are probably wondering what this is all about. What could be so terrible that a girl wouldn't trust her best friend with it? Actually it isn't so bad but I have a reputation to uphold you know!" she laughed bitterly. "I used to have a boyfriend. His name is Beck and he is very handsome and cool but we broke up a while ago. It was a common decision that we both made. We had reached a dead end in our relationship so we called it quits. We are still friends though so it's cool…." Jade moved around in her chair she was getting more comfortable with the idea of making this video and it showed.

"We had been together for two years and a few months and it was great. He was really sweet and took care of me but we started drifting apart towards the end. I guess I started drifting apart towards the end…" she corrected herself "you see…someone else appeared out of nowhere and took his place in my heart." Jade looked at the camera head on intensively as she played with her hands.

"That certain someone is the reason I'm doing this video. She is a girl and ever since she arrived at Hollywood Arts she has been at the center of attention. And with a good reason too….she is really beautiful…" Jade said a small soft smile adoring her lips. She pinched the bridge of her nose as the smile dropped and she a serious look took its place.

"I am in love with her." Her voice was barely a whisper. You could tell it was the first time she ever admitted it out loud.

"I have been in love with her for one year two months and fourteen days…."she paused deep in thought."It took me a while to realize it but at the end I did…. I still don't know how I feel about that…you know…being in love with a girl…. I should rephrase that… I don't know how I feel being in love with that girl."

She seemed concerned as she carefully chose her next words.

"All I know is that I can't stand it anymore. She has this hold on me and she doesn't even know…" her gaze shifted to the floor as she tried to explain.

"I would do anything for her if only she asked to. I don't care how hard it is or how difficult I would do it without a second thought just to make her happy. I would travel to the ends of the world fight against the most ferocious monsters with only one word from her. She can control me in a way no one else can and I hate it. I hate how she makes me feel but I love it at the same time…" jade's voice was getting more desperate by the seconds as she searched for the right words to say.

"every time I see her smile or laugh it's like I'm in heaven…and I just want to stare at her all day but I know I can't and I shouldn't….and I try to hide the smile she brings to my face just by looking at her…I hate it how she makes me feel that way without even trying."

"Then she's touching me and fingers burn my skin and it hurts but I don't want her to let go even though it makes me shiver and I forget what I wanted to say…"

"And then she hugs me and I completely lose it…I can't do anything…it's like I've forgotten how to move how to think how to _breath_…..my mind goes blank as her body touches mine and I feel like I'm home….we fit so perfectly and I think: this is it, this is where I belong…and I never want to let go…but then she's gone…she pulls back. And once again I'm tumbling down defeated…"

"I want to tell her how I feel but I can't because if I do then she'll be disgusted by me and hate me and she'll leave and I'll be forever…always trapped inside this darkness like I'm in a deep cold well that the sun or the wind never reaches…where everything is black and I normally wouldn't mind because I like the color but she is not there and it's….empty…"

Jade still wasn't looking at the camera. Her eyes were dancing around the floor desperate to figure out a way to express herself. Her hands where moving around as if to show her feelings. She looked like she was in agony.

"Her eyes…they have such an amazing color that I could stare into them for the rest of my life…when the sunlight hits them from an angle the get this amber shade that just blows my mind…and I swear I am looking at an angel and I expect big white fluffy wings to grow out her back and I am _sure _there is a halo above her head…"

"All I want to do is stare into those amazing brown orbs…but when I do I get lost into an endless sea of chocolate brown and it feels like I'm drowning… and I need to breath but I can't get to the surface and I want air but at the same time I don't because it's so warm in here and I hate to let it go and it drives me _crazy_….."

"It physically and emotionally _hurts_ me when she is sad or when I see her cry I want to punch the lights out of the bastard that made her sad and I want to _kill_ the idiot that brought tears to her beautiful eyes….and I want to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay and that she shouldn't be scared because I will protect her from everything and everyone ….but I don't….because I know that I'm not the one she wants to be comforted by…"

"I love it when I see her happy and smiling. It makes my day when she laughs even if I know I'm not the one that makes her do it. I adore the way her eyebrows knit together when she gets confused and I absolutely love how cute she gets when she's excited about something…or when she has thought of an evil plan to get something she wants…."

"It's killing me when I see her with another guy… and I hate him but I love it that she is happy and I want to in his place holding her in my arms but I know it's not possible…my heart breaks in billions of tiny pieces at the size of a grain of sand…and there is just no way of picking up the pieces and putting them together because each grain has its specific place and it only has one match that it's impossible to find in this pile of dust that my heart has turned into…."

Jade looked at the camera for the first time since her rambling started. Her eyes were swirling with raw emotion so intense that you would make everyone look away.

"She isn't aware of it but she has my mind my heart my soul….she has my everything….and I don't know how to deal with that fact…right now…she is the only reason that means something to me."

She got up from the armchair and kneeled in front of the camera.

"I hate it how much she makes me feel…"

"I hate how much in love I am with Tori Vega."

And the screen went black.


End file.
